Picking Your Priorities

Last month, I flew down to the Florida Christian Writers Conference.

As a writer, I attend writers conferences not only to continue to learn about the craft of writing but also to network and fellowship with other like-minded people. We writers are known to be a bit introverted, with I am most certainly not.  Since writing is known to be a lone profession, it can run down your internal battery a bit and so I got to conferences to become rejuvenated and energized.

However, there are only so many conferences one can attend when you live on a budget, which in most cases we all do. So it becomes hard sometimes to choose where to go and chose between the options.

Many times, those choices come based on family, finances, and other obligations.

It’s not easy having to choose between what we WANT and what we NEED. It downright sucks at the time, just saying.

Almost two years ago, we sold our house and moved. Where we ended up, wasn’t the place I intended. However, it was the best place for my family at this time. And that is what is most important.

Sometimes we put aside our individual wants to do what is best for the whole.

It’s called being a parent. It’s called loving others before we love ourselves ( to a certain extent ).

If you’ve ever plopped down on the couch and watched those house hunter shows, then you can understand how choosing one thing over another is hard. In those shows, they get three houses to choose from and from those houses, they have to prioritize which house is the best one for them, for their family.

Recently, I had to step away from a source of income that had become too demanding to allow me to keep up with the needs of my family.

My husband, my children. Those are my #1 priority in my life.

There is a lot of stuff we can screw up in this world and fail at, but if I screw up my kids I can’t go back and fix them. They need me now. God choose me to be their mother for a reason. My family takes priority over everything else.

My #2 priority is being a supportive.

Being supportive of our spouses, especially those who work outside of the home so we can stay home is an incredible blessing. Supporting our children in their dreams and directing them in their path to adulthood is so important. Even if you know that dream may fail, the more important part is you were there with them on the journey and you are there to give them a hand when they decide to go another direction.

All the other things in my life, I do out of the passion and love I have for those endeavors and the people I come to know. At the time they can feel like priorities. Promises, commitments, and support to those in circles and communities, but none of them more necessary then the priorities above.

Depending on family situations, having an income source can be a priority. We can learn to get by on what we have as long as we see what we have in comparison to what we desire and don’t fall in the trap of having to compare ourselves and our family to others.

My family and our lifestyle are not the same as others. It’s what makes us the Lowers and it is what makes your family who you are.

What are your priorities this year? Have they changed this year compared to last year?

Kids Today Need Their Parents Attention More

Long ago, when I had kids, I knew two things.

1.     I wanted to be a mother.

2.     I wanted to stay home and raise my children as my mother had with me and my siblings.

Today, not all of us are able to have that luxury, but I believe if your heart is set on it, you can do it. And, I don’t always believe it is the mother who needs to be at home. I do, however, believe in one parent staying home or working from home part-time to raise a family.

As our kids are getting older, there are more things out there than ever before leading them down the wrong paths. They need their parents. Not friends. Parents.

I used to think when my kids got older they wouldn’t need me as much anymore. They could do things on their own, and they can. They can bathe themselves, get a drink and prepare a meal as they mature and learn those skills. As parents, we teach them those skills to survive and take care of themselves.

Then come the teenage years and the emotions that tumble along with this phase in their lives. Remember the hardships of being a teenager? Want to go back there? I don’t know what is worse, being a toddler and having your hand slapped while being told no, or being a teenager and having all the wrong people telling you yes.

While our kids may learn to physically tend to themselves, they need us through those rough years and not being there for them only makes it harder.

We’re busy. I get it. Every day is a rush to get places, meet with people, and get things done.

SLOW DOWN!

How many times a day does your kid ask you for help or to spend time with them and you can’t because you’ve got somewhere else you need to be or something else you need to do?

Slow down, spend time with your kids. Be their mentor. Be their parent. Cut out the things in your life that make you too busy to play that game or spend an hour walking or chatting with your teenager.

There are a lot of things going on in their lives. Bullies. Fears. Drama. Broken hearts.

All those things in your life making you busy, they can be replaced.
Your family… your children… those are the tomorrows we’ve been given to direct.

Take time to have those family meals, to go on that family outing, to spend an hour or two going for that walk, playing that board  or video game, helping your child with homework, or planning a movie night.

If there are more than three things on your list each day, cut it down. Rather than rush, and be too busy, focus and become more purposeful. Slow down. The world WILL wait for you if you stop to take a look at what is around you.

Because kids need their parents in their lives more now than ever.

My 10 Goals for 2018

In January,  I shared with you my word for the new year in 2018 is FAMILY. It really had me thinking not only what I wished to focus on this year but what I want to accomplish. I don’t know about you, but I feel like setting goals helps me to focus. Keeping my theme of putting family first, I choose goals for this year to promote making time for what is most important.

Personal Goals

1.     Read 50 books that will build me up/encourage me/inspire me/recharge me. (Fiction/story-driven/biographies/inspirational living books/devotionals.)

2.     Spend time doing something with each one of my kids at least once a week.

3.     Write 5k words a week.

Marriage Goal

4.     Take that trip to Italy without the kids we’ve been dreaming of for almost 20 years.

5.     Once a month date night.

Family Goals

6.     Weekly family game night.

7.     Family Camping Trip.

Financial Goals

8.     Save up and have the deck replaced on the back of our new house. (we dipped into the replacement fund when my minivan got totaled because a truck rear-ended us one night on our way home a few months ago.)

Business Goals

9.     Increase sales from my Etsy shop by 10%.

Writing Goals

10. Write 3 books this year.

Money Saving Mom, shared an article this month of her own 2018 goals and habits. I found this very inspiring and I really appreciated her habit of daily “coffee dates” with her spouse and going offline after the kids come home from school.

They say it takes 21 days to form a habit. We’ll see.

This year I want to get my family in the habit of turning off their electronic devices more and spending time interacting with each other.  How? Video Game time is earned time by getting homework done, reading more, and getting chores done so video games can be played on weekends. Other devices, will be active between after school and supper (3pm – 5pm) and only if homework is done.

It will be hard at first, but my kids aren’t the only ones who are going to adjust to new habits. At 9pm the devices and video games end for the adults too. In the mornings, we’ll have breakfast date to start our day off on the right page.

Like any good intentions, it takes support of others to accomplish your goals, so I’ll be giving updates and encouragement throughout the year.

What are your goals for this year? How can I help inspire and encourage you to accomplish them?