There is something to be said about
being raised on a dairy farm. It’s not the cheap shots you get as a kid or the
poor jokes you learn to take in good humor. It’s the cultivating of standards
and planting a way of living that focuses on learning to survive in a world
that is increasingly lowering expectations of moral.
Not all of us are blessed with
growing up on a farm, but neither are we intended to. If we were not all given
different upbringings we couldn’t bring different gifts and perspectives to the
world. But I also believe there are times and places to share and there are
times when we are meant to keep things to ourselves.
I don’t know where I would be in
this world without the guidance of my father. One of the biggest things we
learn in life isn’t always spoken. I always ask my children, “If a friend
dares you to do jump off a bridge and you know it will kill you, would you?”
It’s an old cliche of are we supposed to do what others are doing just because
they are doing it, even if you know it is wrong?
Last
week Ann Voskamp wrote an eye-opening post about 20 things we’d better
tell our sons right now about being a real man. It
comes after the “20 minutes of Action” phrase in the Stanford rape case.
I don’t usually post things about
politics or news– especially news that is a negative impact on our world.
However, after reading the victim’s statement I wasn’t thinking of my girls as
much as I was thinking of my son.
It made me overflow
with gratitude for the people in my son’s life. Especially my son’s father and
his grandfather (my own father). Yet, I often feel a pang when I think of my
nephews who have followed in their grandfather’s footsteps on the farm and
see the response and family committed men they have become. I see my younger
nephew, following his father and his grandfather's footsteps now and know he,
too, will someday grow up with the understanding of working hard to provide,
putting family first, living within the rules and boundaries God has set forth
for us. 
I look at my son, still growing and
learning and seeking who he is going to be and as a mother, I wonder what kind
of man, he will become.
Because let’s face it. We aren’t
raising boys to become men like we used to. Not in this world. Not like they
were a hundred years ago, or fifty, or even 10 years ago. There are so many of
our sons jumping off of society bridges and getting drowned from the ways in
which we know are right and true.
My son spends many summers visiting
his grandfather, hanging with his cousins, and learning that some of us live by stricter values than others. Here in our home, he has his father to teach
him about honor, respect, and responsibility.
And while many of our school districts
try to incorporate things like respect and responsibility into our children’s
everyday learning, it is not solely up to our public school system to teach our
kids values–it’s ours. And as parents, we should be joining with schools and our
community to raise and instill inside our future generations the types of
values, ethics, and morals we want them to pass on to their sons.
There are no excuses. Boys don’t
have to have a father in their lives to become men. Women have been bringing up
boys since the beginning of time. They need role models and the footsteps of a
few good men in their lives to follow.
Wouldn’t you agree?
